If Your Child is a Victim of Abuse

Safe & Sound Child Advocacy Center staff understands you may have many questions surrounding your child’s disclosed abuse. We are available to answer questions throughout the process. Here are some resources that may help you answer some questions you may have during you and your child’s journey to recovery.

REPORT CHILD ABUSE
Call 855-444-3911

What to do if your child discloses abuse:

Learning that a child may have been abused can be very upsetting for all individuals involved. If your child discloses he or she has been hurt or abused, utilize the following guidelines in order to best respond to your child:

MORE ABOUT WHAT TO DO

What to expect at Safe & Sound – The Forensic Interview:

After the case is reported to Law Enforcement or Children’s Protective Services, you will be contacted by a Safe & Sound staff member to set up an interview for your child. Here is what to expect from this point forward. ..

MORE ABOUT WHAT TO EXPECT IN THE INTERVIEW

What to expect after you leave the center – The Investigation and Legal System:

The forensic interview is only a small part of entire investigation and process Here is more information on the roles of the other agencies involved in keeping you and your child safe…

MORE ABOUT WHAT TO EXPECT AFTER YOU LEAVE THE CENTER

Your role throughout the process:

From simply being there to listen, to comfort measures and how to cope…

MORE ABOUT YOUR ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES IN THIS PROCESS

What to do if your child alleges abuse…

Learning that a child may have been abused can be very upsetting for all individuals involved. If your child alleges he or she has been hurt or abused, utilize the following guidelines in order to best respond to your child:

  • First Believe the Child: No one wants to believe that any child has been a victim; however, believe the child because children seldom make up stories about sexual abuse. If the report does turn out to be false or exaggerated, the child may have a serious problem that requires attention.

  • Actively Listen: Encourage the child to talk freely, but do not “put words in their mouth”. Do not deny the problem. Do not make judgmental comments and never blame, punish, or embarrass the child.

  • Stay Calm: It is very important that you stay calm on the outside. Feelings of guilt, denial, anger, and/or confusion are normal reactions to have; however, if you have a strong reaction to a child’s report, the child may be unwilling to talk any further about this with you, the police, or a counselor. Also, a strong reaction from you may cause them to withdraw or may increase feelings of shame, embarrassment, and guilt.

  • Be Supportive Not Blaming: Tell the child that he or she is not to blame for the abuse. Most children, trying to make sense out of the abuse, believe that somehow they caused it or should have been able to stop it.

  • Be Honest: Offer to protect the child and promise to do your best to stop the abuse. Let the child know that telling you was the right thing to do. Do not promise you will not tell anyone or tell the child they will not need to talk about it again.

  • Respect the Child’s Right to Privacy: Be available to listen and remember to respect a child’s right to privacy. Be careful not to discuss the incident in front of people who do not need to know what happened.

  • Do Not Question the Child: A forensic interviewer, local law enforcement or children’s protective services worker are professionally trained to ask such questions.

  • Report Your Suspicions to Child Protective Services: Reporting is important because it lets children know they are believed. It also lets them know that they are not responsible for what happened and that they are victims of a crime. Call CPS at 1-855-444-3911

  • Keeping ALL Children Safe: Many abusers, both adults and juveniles, abuse more than one time and more than one victim. Sometimes, it is necessary to interview juvenile abusers. The interviews are done in order to find out if these children have been victims themselves. In this way, all of these children can get the help they need whenever child sexual abuse is reported.

What to expect at Safe & Sound - The Forensic Interview…

After the case is reported to Law Enforcement or Children’s Protective Services, you will be contacted by a Safe & Sound staff member to set up an interview for your child. This is the beginning of the investigation. The Forensic Interview is done by a nationally trained professional who is very skilled at asking children questions they can understand and answer at their own age level and developmental ability. The goal of the interview is to gather correct information about any complaint of severe physical or sexual abuse that has been made. Information from this interview is then used by Law Enforcement, the Prosecutor’s Office and Children’s Protective Services Case Workers to decide whether or not to investigate the complaint any further. Sometimes, children are asked to come back for another interview in order to gather more information.

Children often will not tell about abuse or give important details if parents and/or caregivers are present. Also, parents and caregivers sometimes have trouble controlling their emotions while listening to details of their child’s abuse. For these reasons, parents and caregivers are not allowed to attend or observe the interview.

Parents and caregivers, however, will meet with the Multi-disciplinary Team after the interview. They are free to talk with all the team members and ask any questions they wish during these meetings. They also meet with the Case Coordinator/Counselor at the time the interview is being done. This meeting allows the parents and caregivers more time to ask questions and share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns.

What to expect after you leave the center...

It is the job of the Law Enforcement Officer, the Prosecutor and the Children’s Protective Services Case Worker to follow up on the investigation and gather more evidence and facts after the forensic interview is done. They do this by questioning the suspect, possible witnesses, and any other parties involved. A medical exam will be done only when needed. All of this information is then given to the prosecutor’s office. The Prosecutor makes the final decision as to whether or not to charge a suspect with a crime. The legal process tends to be slow and confusing at times; however, the Multi-disciplinary Team works together for the best possible outcome for all concerned. Parents/caregivers should contact the professionals working on the case as needed.

The Legal System

Steps in the Court Process – After the forensic interview and investigation, the Prosecutor will decide if criminal charges will be filed and if the case should go through the criminal court system. Because every case is different, not every case follows the same steps, which may or may not result in a trial. If the case is held over for trial, you will be contacted by a Victim Rights Advocate from the Midland County Prosecutor’s Office. This Advocate will work with you throughout the prosecution of your case. Our current legal system was not set up with children in mind; however, this is slowly changing through the efforts of Child Advocacy Centers and Multi-Disciplinary Teams all over the country. Working with the legal system can be a confusing and frustrating process. The investigation must be handled carefully and completed in certain steps. As a result, it may seem as if the investigation is moving very slowly. In addition, court dates may be rescheduled many times and legal cases may take as long as one or two years to get settled. It is okay for you to check on the status of your case with the investigator and with the Victim Rights Advocate at the Prosecutor’s Office (989-832-6732).

Preparing a Child for Court – There are many things that can be done to help prepare a child for court and calm a child’s fears. The Victim Rights Advocate can arrange a visit with the Prosecuting Attorney, a visit to the courtroom, or answer questions about testifying. Any and/or all of these actions will help make going to court easier for you and your child. Counseling can also help your child and you to deal with the entire court process.

The End of the Court Case – When the case is finally done, many parents and caregivers may feel let down or a bit depressed. This is normal as you have most likely used a lot of time and energy to do what was needed. Also, the final result may be frustrating. Parents and caregivers are often unhappy if the case is dropped or if the final verdict and sentencing are not what they were hoping for. No matter what happens at the end, tell the child it is over and that he or she was very brave. Celebrate the end of a long journey and congratulate yourself for standing up for a child and doing something about child abuse.

The Crime Victim’s Compensation Fund – It is important that crime victims (or their parents and/or caregivers) know about the Crime Victim’s Compensation Fund forms, as money may be available to help pay for medical and counseling services not covered by insurance. When getting services as a result of child sexual abuse, be sure to save all receipts and bills. If you are interested in getting the Crime Victims Compensation Fund form, contact the Victim Rights Office at the Midland County Prosecutor’s Office at (989) 832-6732.

More about your role throughout the process…

  • Love and Safety: Provide love, safety, and a stable home life.

  • Not the Child’s Fault: Make sure the child knows the abuse is not his or her fault.

  • Okay to Cry: Let the child know it is okay to cry or be mad about it.

  • Good Choice: Let the child know this was the right thing to do.

  • Let the Child Start and Lead the Discussion: Do not quiz or keep questioning the child about the interview or abuse. If the child does not ask questions or bring up the issue, it is best that you also do not bring up the issue or ask questions. Any questions you have should be asked of the Caseworker or Law Enforcement Officer.

  • Keep the child away from the suspect.

  • Let Your Child Be a Child: Do not share your feelings of frustration or helplessness with the child. Instead, talk to someone you trust and/or find help for yourself. You do not need to handle this all alone.

  • This May Not Be the End: Do not tell the child that the interview is the end of the legal process. It is possible that your child will be interviewed again and may be asked to testify in court. (It is best to wait until you have been notified by the Prosecutor’s Office about testifying, before telling your child that this is a possibility. Many of these cases never require this step, and telling your child prematurely could cause unnecessary stress.)

  • Protect the Child(ren)’s privacy: Neither you nor the child needs to share any information about the abuse with anyone except for Law Enforcement, the Prosecutor, Children’s Protective Services Caseworkers, the Forensic Interviewer and the Safe & Sound Child Advocacy Center staff. If there are other children and families involved in the investigation, avoid discussing the case with them. It may damage all the cases involved if the cases end up going to court.

  • Be Supportive: The single most important factor in helping a child recover is the strong support of his or her parent and/or caregiver.